The Other Fish in the Sea (Grab Your Pole, #2) Read online

  “Boring questions tonight, guys, but whatever. I asked Camie out by quoting a TV show verbatim.”

  “He did, I didn’t find it boring in the least, though…it was pretty spectacular.”

  “That’s because ‘you are quite the human’,” Tristan said, quoting another Buffy line verbatim before pulling me down for a “meaningful to us” kiss and then he continued with the game. “Okay, now I’ve answered two. Movin’ on…Brandon.”

  “Dare.”

  “Strip to your shorts and sing I’m a little tea pot…motions and all.” Ooh! Good one, honey!

  “Aw shit. Paybacks?”

  “It could’ve been worse.”

  It was worse, Brandon just didn’t know about it. In fact, none of us did until the next day. Jillian. That’s all I’m saying.

  “Alright, Camie, truth or dare?”

  “Ugh, dare.” I chose dare on Brandon because I’m pretty sure I know what he’s gonna ask me to do.

  “Right on, I’ve been dying to see this…show us the leg thing!” I knew it.

  “Fuck! That’s twice in a week and I have to move! You fuckin’ suck, man.”

  “Okay, I can only hold my leg up so high for so long without losing my balance, so I’ll need help.”

  Without thinking, Brandon was about to get up, but Tristan shut him down so fast you would’ve never known Brandon had even moved.

  “Touch her and I’ll be relieving myself on your ashes in less than a minute. That goes for all the rest of you guys here…you too, Pete. I don’t think I can handle my fantasies starring the both of you again.”

  “Then you do it!”

  “Fuck no! I’m masochistic enough with her as it is…I’m gonna have to fuckin’ close my goddamned eyes for this.”

  He did. And put his hand over them as well. I giggled at him though when at one point, while cringing like he was in pain, he peeked through his fingers and groaned an obscenity under his breath.

  “Okay Jilly, truth or dare?” I’m really hoping she goes with truth because I don’t wanna be the one responsible for making her do something she doesn’t want to do or drink in admitting she doesn’t want to.

  “Truth.” Thank God.

  “With whom was your first kiss with and did you like it?” I’ve been curious about that since last night.

  “A friend and yes.” That was it. No hesitation, no emotion, and…no name. Crap, I was nervous and forgot to be specific.

  “That doesn’t count, you have to say a name!” Jeremy objected and received a steely stare from her in response.

  “How many times do I have to say it? Be specific, goddamn it!” Tristan intoned with a laugh and again, toasted Jillian who’d given him a nod and toasted him first.

  “So it’s my turn now,” Jill said to herself and cast her eyes around the tent, looking for a victim. “Jeff…”

  I almost choked on my drink in laughter when Jeff’s easy-going demeanor and smile vanished when my sister spoke his name with intent. He was honestly uncomfortable…it was hilarious.

  “Can I just drink now and save you the hassle of comin’ up with somethin’?” Jeff asked, trying to put his sense of humor back in place.

  “No. Be a good sport.”

  He started whimpering and then said, “Aw fuck…truth.”

  “What’s been the happiest moment of your life thus far?” Aw, what a sweet question! Truly, she really does have a soft side. It’s just buried beneath the several tons of coarse, defensive armor my sister almost always wears so when she takes all that off, it tends to take you by surprise.

  Jeff on the other hand surprised me too, along with everyone else I think. When he processed my sister’s question, he stilled and his expression turned stony. Then he lifted his bottle to his mouth and took a small drink.

  “Why’d you drink?” Jillian asked, staring at him as if she could see right through him and already knew the answer.

  Jeff looked at Kate sitting next to him and then lowered his head to look at his bottle and softly replied, “Because every single moment I’m with Katy is the happiest I’ve ever been and to pick just one would be like saying the others don’t mean as much.”

  I have to admit I was a mite bit awed. I know Jeff has no problem proclaiming his feelings for Kate publicly but every now and then, what he says is just so touching that it honestly makes you want to weep. Plus, it’s a side of Jeff that isn’t tainted by his arrogance or sense of humor which I can fully appreciate and find refreshing. Of course it’s never long before he reverts back to his typical vexing self, though.

  “Enough of the mushy stuff…Melissa, truth or dare?” Jeff asked and nudged Tristan with his elbow.

  “Can I just drink?” Melissa answered with a laugh.

  “Nope, pick one.”

  “Ugh…truth.”

  “Same question Camie asked the blonde necromancer, but! We want a specific name,” Jeff told her with a fair amount of devilry in his tone.

  Tristan quietly snickered, Kate rolled her eyes and…again with the hesitation from Melissa! What the hell? She opened her mouth but then closed it and sat there for a second, contemplating whether she should answer. I mean it’s not like she needs to hide this, you know? I just don’t get it…

  Finally, she sighed deeply in exasperation and with her eyes staring at the ceiling of the tent she answered, “Fine…it was Tristan.”

  “And what about the second part of the question? Did you liiike it?” Jeff asked and started snickering with Tristan.

  “Mm-mm, no, not really,” Melissa replied with her eyes still cast heavenward. She tried to make it sound believable but you could totally tell she was lying through her teeth. It was pretty damned funny.

  “LIAR!” Tristan shouted out in full laughter now.

  “What. Ever!” Melissa shouted back, totally laughing now too.

  So good-natured game play went on for a while and then what the six of us were waiting for finally happened. Bridget dared me to eat licorice. If you’re wondering why I would choose dare when she asked, well, just think about it; I’m prepared to face the food, but if I were to choose truth, I might have to explain in words the reason why I can’t (can’t, couldn’t…whatever) eat it anymore and I honestly think that would be painful for both Tristan and me to go through. I know I can always drink, but I’d really rather not give her the satisfaction of getting to me, you know what I mean?

  “Bridget! That’s so messed up and mean! Remember Tristan said she can’t eat it anymore!” Julia accused in genuine surprise. Huh. I kind of thought my cousin would throw me under the bus too if given the chance, but, apparently I’ve misjudged her. Sorry, Julia.

  “Dares are supposed to be things that people don’t want to do…besides, Camie, if you’re scared you can always drink, but if you do have the guts to eat it, it has to be a full piece, not some wimpy little nibble,” Bridget informed me spitefully.

  “Come on, Baby, you got this,” Tristan said with a wink while looking at me from my lap. I started to feel fluttery about it, but it was because of his eyes, not the licorice.

  Everyone who knew about how licorice previously affected me and didn’t know it’s now become a freaking aphrodisiac, started whispering and glaring at Bridget when she tossed a piece at me from across the tent. I hesitantly put it in my mouth and slowly started chewing it, and I think Bridget and a couple of other people thought I was going to spit it out or vomit or something when I shivered, but that was only because I happened to glance down at Tristan watching me when I was about three quarters of the way done with it. After that, I couldn’t look away and I was holding it together pretty well if I do say so myself, even though his eyes were like sapphires making my body twitch with all the electricity zinging through it. However, watching me eat it was too much for Superman and I ended up flat on my back faster than a speeding bullet with his lips on mine and not even remotely in the platonic way Pete had his on Jill.

  “What the hell just happened? There was no fig
hting or anything!” I think that was Melissa. Like I said, being coherent during kissing is getting better so I can kind of hear what people are saying, but I really have to focus and even then, it’s like trying to hear in a wind tunnel.

  “Is anyone else hearing that song ‘Sex and Candy’ right now?” I think that might’ve been Brandon, but again, I’m not sure.

  “Yeah, they’re sick and twisted…good song, though. Marcy Playground, right?” Definitely Jeff.

  “Seriously, you guys, what is that?”

  Tristan wrenched his mouth away from mine and breathing heavy he answered, “That was sadomasochistic foreplay at its finest…and I was hearing ‘Candy’ by Iggy Pop and Kate Pierson.” Ha! I was too! How funny is that?

  “Are you saying you enjoyed that?” Bridget asked me in a kind of disappointed shock when Tristan and I began to right ourselves again.

  “Immensely. So much so that I’m really hoping gum comes in licorice flavor.”

  “I’m on it, Baby! I’ll start asking around and looking for it the second we get back to civilization!” Tristan promised with exuberance. He’s mostly joking but I really wouldn’t be surprised to see a licorice flavored gum search in the history of his computer.

  “Red n—”

  “Not black, I know…jet fuel…got it.” Not surprised at all.

  So the game went on and then something we weren’t expecting happened…

  “Jillian, truth or dare?” Dylan asked her.

  “Dare.”

  “Kiss Jeremy. Oh! A real kiss…be specific, right?”

  Jillian didn’t even think twice. She drank—quite a bit more than was necessary to get her point across, too. Frustration was clearly evident on Jeremy’s face and I got the feeling this wouldn’t be the last we heard from him. It should’ve been, though, the foolish twit.

  Sometime later we were in the middle of another person’s turn when out of the blue, we heard John Cleese—an English actor who did a lot with Monty Python back in the day—say the following;

  “Excuse me, sir, but I’m afraid someone is endeavoring to contact you telephonically. Shall I tell them to fuck off?”

  It’s one of the funniest freaking ringtones I’ve ever heard in my entire life and it happens to be Jillian’s default text message ringtone. Almost everyone was laughing when they heard it, but knowing it was hers, I was watching her face. She glanced down at her phone that was sitting right in front of her and this time, I not only saw her grind her teeth, I heard her do it. Pete, having been able to read the text from where he’s sitting next to her, had a mixed look of amusement and sympathy on his face when he looked over at Jeremy. I’m totally hearing Mr. T say, “I pity the fool.”

  Jeff leaned over the laps of Kate and Pete to read the text and then stared in shock at Jeremy and back at Jillian again. But when she handed Pete her iPod and stood up, Jeff quickly recollected himself and began giving a little more than half of us a very whispered play by play, like a sports commentator using his bottle as a microphone. Everyone else out of earshot was laughing and goading Jeremy and Jillian on, though. Poor Jeremy, he really has no idea what a heap load of trouble he’s in because my sister has mastered how to control her facial expressions and doesn’t “appear” to be upset in the slightest.

  “Okay folks, what we have here is surely a never been seen before event. It looks like Satan herself has been called out by a—hey, how old is that walking corpse?”

  “Almost fifteen,” Derek whispered from the other side of Pete.

  “Shit, he’s too young to die…oh well…So weighing in at almost fifteen years old, we have Jeremy, the dumb yet brave soul who’s just sent a text that will no doubt send him to meet his maker. A little advice for those of you watching at home, Hell doesn’t have a text plan and this should go without saying, but never-ever under any circumstances call Lucifer a chicken. One, it’ll be the last thing you do, and two, that’s my nickname, goddamn it…”

  “Well, are you just gonna sit there? If you really want me to kiss you then you should at least be a gentleman and stand up,” Jillian told him. She said that mind you looking like a sweet, innocent girl in the blush of her youth. Hell, she’s even smiling. However, I can totally tell that she’s seething underneath her wholly convincing veneer.

  “The Evil One just threw down the gauntlet with a perfectly executed Matrix come on gesture of the hand and— Oh, I think Dumb Yet Brave just made a fatal mistake in getting up…” Jeremy actually had the stupidity to smile in self-satisfaction when he got up from where he was sitting across the tent and slowly start forward. This was also the point when Tristan started mimicking the sound of the theme song to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly and I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud. “He’s given her solid footing and now he’s forced to square off face-to-face with the devil in sheep’s clothing…the clothing being long, blonde hair, a pretty cute ass and a size…eh, thirty-two?—hey Trist, little help…”

  Tristan looked at me for permission to visually size my sister up and I gave it to him with a shrug of my shoulders. I mean why not? I’m interested to see how accurate he is. He looked at her appraisingly for maybe three seconds and then answered Jeff using sign language, following it up with a confident look and a “trust me nod” when Jeff cocked one of his brows in question. When Jeff looked at me for verification, I rolled my eyes and nodded. Tristan was dead on.

  “Damn. Okay, so The Princess of Darkness has a decent rack to go with the cute a—Uh, wait! What’s this? Is she really gonna ki—OOOHHH! That had to hurt. Oh and look at that, folks, Mephistopheles drew wicked-awesome first blood and it looks like Dumb Yet Brave is outta the game. Again, folks, you’ve been witness to one of the most seldom seen events in history...I’m Chicken Larson saying good night, sleep tight and don’t let the boogie man or a suicide blonde getchya.”

  Oh my God, that was the funniest thing ever and I’m cracking up just as much as Tristan is. And just so you know, Mephistopheles was the devil in the story of Faust and “Suicide Blonde” is the name of an INXS song…very impressive, Jeff!

  So yeah, she kissed him all right. Jillian got as close to Jeremy as she could and it totally looked like she was really gonna kiss him, but the second he put his hand behind her head and leaned in, which I believe pushed her right over the edge of anger to plunge her into rage, she drew back with catlike speed and without warning, punched him right in the kisser, splitting his bottom lip. I really think that if he hadn’t put his hand on the back of her head in that domineering manner, she wouldn’t have drawn blood. She still would’ve hit him, of course, but he might’ve gotten away with just a punch in the gut or something.

  “OW, FUCK! Why the hell did you punch me?! If you didn’t wanna kiss me, all you had to do was say no! Jesus!” Jeremy said, astonished and wiping blood from his lip. He’s actually handling this pretty well but I really doubt he’ll ever try to kiss my little sister again.

  “You were warned and I did say no,” she replied coldly yet simply and turned to sit back down like nothing had happened.

  “His blood or yours?” Pete asked with a chuckle when Jillian sat back down next to him and he noticed the blood on her knuckle.

  She looked at it like “huh.” Then she poured her boozy drink over her hand to wash the blood away, revealing a tear in her skin that welled up with more blood. “Mine. I grazed a tooth.”

  “Pouring liquor on it isn’t the best way to clean it,” Pete said, handing over Jill’s iPod to her and returning his focus back to the game.

  “’Tis just a flesh wound,” she ground out between her teeth. The flesh wound thing is actually a line from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and it was damned funny in the movie, but the way she said it, it wasn’t funny. She meant it to say, “End of discussion.”

  “A band-aid would be good too,” he continued, ignoring her dismissal and without looking at her.

  If he had been, Pete would’ve seen Jillian narrow her eyes at him like she
wanted to punch him in the face, too, when she bit out, “It’s fine.”

  We moved on.

  “Truth,” Kate chose when I asked.

  “Jeff has been magically transformed into an animal and the only way to restore him is to mate with him. Here's the question…which animal would cause you the least psychological damage?”

  “Now that’s a fuckin’ question! Nice one, Baby!” He sounds so pleased and proud.

  Kate took one look at Jeff and said, “Even though the idea of having sex with any non-human animal wigs me out completely, I love you and I’d wish you were a pig.”

  Tristan started clapping and devoutly declared, “Now that’s true love…”

  “Aw, Katy…you’re the fuckin’ best girlfriend in the world!” Jeff said and gave her a big kiss. I’m kind of at a loss, though.

  “Um, why is being a pig so great?” I asked. Really, Jeff’s thrilled and there’s Tristan’s clapping and comment to consider too...I just don’t get it.

  “Pigs have the longest orgasms in the animal kingdom...one was documented at thirty-seven minutes,” Kate told me with a wink to Jeff who was wiping fake tears of joy from his eyes.

  I looked at Tristan and decided to mess with him a little so I leaned down to mumble against his lips, “You have to make a choice you know…submarine or pig? You can’t be both.”

  The look of realization that crossed his face was priceless. “Shit…I never thought about that. I’ll fuckin’ find a way to be both, goddamn it.”

  “Truth.” It was Brandon being asked.

  “What’s the most daring place you’ve ever had sex?”

  Now Brandon’s reaction was very interesting. He opened his mouth to speak, hesitated for a split second and then drank.

  “What the fuck was that?” Derek asked in surprise.

  “That was me opting out of answering, what the fuck did it look like?”

  “Like you thought about what you were gonna say before you said it…and then opted out of answering. Why wouldn’t you answer that...not like you have anything to hide, right? Or do you?”