Landslide Page 3

  His voice has an excited, almost hyper edge to it, like it does before he takes the field for a game he’s gotten himself super pumped up to play. I know I’m probably blushing, but a quick peek at my grandma tells me she’s busy still contemplating some of the other dresses for me to wear to the big graduation party next week so I turn my back to her and trying to not giggle, I whisper, “I’m especially looking forward to the and…”

  Being raised by my seventy-some-odd-year-old grandparents hasn’t always been ideal when it comes to makeup, fashion trends, and dating; however since my mom, dad, and older brother had been killed by a drunk driver when I was eight months old, I feel grateful to have had them. Not only do I know they’ve loved me unconditionally, I love them dearly for the sacrifices they made for me. My grandpa was all set to retire when the accident happened, but he ended up working another ten years just so that he and my grandma could better afford the costs of giving me a life with all the things normal parents give their children nowadays. You know, cell phones, laptops, iPods, and all the technology that people in their generation didn’t have or just never had a need for when their kids were growing up. But they gave all of those things to me without question, and they gave me a home filled with love.

  They encouraged me when I decided I wanted to be a cheerleader and paid for everything I needed once I made the team; and then they supported me by hardly ever missing a game or a school event that I was a part of. They even made sure my friends were comfortable in our home by always having teen friendly drinks and snacks on hand, and allowing me to throw parties—some of them big events like my annual New Year’s Eve party where everyone and their twenty-second cousin twice removed is invited. Not only that, but through living with and watching my grandparents, I learned to appreciate what a true blessing it is to have a home-cooked meal served at the table and eaten as a family every night, the pride you feel when you make something with your own hands, and the value of a dollar earned through hard work. So, I almost feel more fortunate than some of my friends for having been raised old school rather than how some kids are raised to have a sense of entitlement to things that they haven’t actually earned.

  However, when it came to dating, boys, and being able to talk about sex, well…that was a different story. I mean I love my grandma, and both my grandparents were pretty great about Holden and me, but I just never felt comfortable talking to either of them about anything boy or sex related. And let me tell you, awkward doesn’t begin to cover how I felt when Holden’s mom invited me to lunch one day last year.

  I thought we were just going to have a nice, simple girl’s day with lunch and a pedicure afterwards, but my face turned flaming red when she asked what I was doing about birth control. I had to admit to her that I hadn’t even thought about it because the fact of the matter was; Holden and I weren’t sexually active. Not that we didn’t talk about it—or rather, constantly hint and flirt with each other in regard to having sex, but when we were alone and had the opportunity, we just never got that close to actually going through with our teasing. Up until the time of my lunch date/birth control conversation with his mom, the farthest we’d ever gone was him feeling me up without my shirt on. Although even that was done over my bra. After that day though, and the subsequent doctor appointment I made, I was prepared for the day that we did actually make the decision to go for it.

  I used to think Holden and I were cursed because for reasons beyond our control, that day still hasn’t come. He and I still went slow even after I chose to go on the pill, but we definitely almost came close once or twice and had to stop because we would’ve been caught. Like this past Christmas Eve… He and I were at his house getting all hot and sweaty in the den in front of the fireplace that’s shared with the room on the other side when his mom came downstairs and started to fill all the stockings hanging on the mantel in the living room. I mean she was right there and we could see her legs and hear her walking around through the fireplace screen; and there we were, just around the corner from where she was, both of us completely naked from the waist down and an unopened condom hanging out of Holden’s mouth. I mean I still have the damned thing in my purse so, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t foaming at the mouth waiting for the night of graduation when he and I will finally get to use it.

  See, after that episode, he and I talked about it and planned for it to happen on my eighteenth birthday this past February. He could take me out for dinner just the two of us and we could go anywhere we wanted. We were thinking about this one, pretty, but more importantly, secluded spot at the park that overlooks a small lake; however his flight in was cancelled due to fog and heavy rain in Oregon. Once he did make it home a day later, I had come down with the flu. So, we put it off again until Spring Break. That plan never came to fruition either because although it wasn’t unexpected and it was actually a relief for my grandma and me, my grandpa lost his battle with cancer two weeks before Holden’s classes let out. And I don’t know about other people, but honoring my grandfather’s memory by losing my virginity just didn’t seem appropriate to me. Holden either for that matter. He flew down to be with me for the funeral of course, but because of school, he was only here for the one day and flew back to Oregon the next morning. We didn’t get to see each other during the week of Spring Break either because my grandma took me to Iowa with her to sprinkle some of my grandpa’s ashes in his home town and visit her brother-in-law who was in a nursing home and hadn’t been physically capable of making the trip for my grandpa’s funeral.

  This time however, curse or no curse, we’re determined. In five days I’m going to graduate, have dinner with my grandma, Holden and his parents, and then he’s taking me to the Hilton where the graduating class is having a party in one of the ballrooms. And from there, we’re going up to the Lakeview Suite, room 908, where we’ll proceed to tear each other’s clothes off and get down to business at last.

  “Me too, Babe, believe me…me too. I don’t care what happens or what I have to do to make it happen. Even if it kills me, you are losing your virginity in five damned days. That’s a promise.”

  I sigh and smile to myself again. “I’m holding you to that promise, mister. I’ve been shopping and I think you’re gonna love chewing off the edible underwear I picked out for our night together,” I whisper and quietly giggle when I hear him groan into the phone just as a whistle blares in the background. I didn’t actually buy edible underwear; it’s just fun to tease him. However, I do think he’ll enjoy stripping the new bra and pantie set I bought off of me.

  “Shit, I gotta run, Babe! I love you!”

  “I love you too! One more day!”

  “Yep! One more day!”

  *****

  A couple hours later and with my graduation dress in a garment bag draped over her arm; my grandma heads home and I go to meet a friend for lunch and a movie. We’ve just finished throwing our trash away in the food court and are entering the theater when Destiny elbows me in the ribs.

  “Hey, I’ll give you twenty bucks if you go grab his ass,” she dares me, staring at a guy who judging from the little bit of drool forming in the corner of her mouth, has to be Cole.

  She’s always staring at Cole and drooling. Actually, a lot of girls stare and drool over Cole. He’s bending over to put a clean garbage bag in one of the trashcans by the concession stand, his black, Dickies pants slipping down and both his un-tucked work tuxedo shirt and ribbed tank undershirt riding up just far enough for us to see a dark tan line above the waistband of his boxers. I swallow my laughter at recognizing a couple of Batman graphics on the fabric covering the elastic.

  “I’m not grabbing his butt or anything else of his! I have Holden, remember?”

  “Mm-mm-mm,” she shakes her head and licks her lips like she’s looking at dinner, “Yeah, I know, but you have to admit it, that guy has one fine ass…for a white boy.”

  I shrug, deciding to not waste my breath informing her yet again that she happens to be white too.
Ever since she was channel surfing one day and caught a re-run of the episode of Days of Our Lives where Nathan Owens does a strip tease, she’s been in this “once you go black, you never go back” phase. That’s her phrasing by the way, not mine. Shaking my head at her, I look at Cole again just as he stands up and turns around to catch us watching him. I roll my eyes when he winks and shoots me a cocky grin before heading our way.

  “It’s okay, go ahead and stare, I know you want me. But good grief, sugar, your appetite is insatiable,” he teases and gives his watch a cursory glance, “I mean it’s only been what? Four hours since we got it on in my car?”

  “You’re a pig, Cole…an impossible menace to society and I have better taste than that,” I tell him and then feel Destiny gently nudge the back of my elbow.

  “Hi, Cole,” Destiny greets him with a flirtatious smile.

  “Oh, you remember Destiny from school, right?”

  “Yeah, of course I do,” he grins back at her, the liar. One look at his overly amused expression and I know he doesn’t have a clue as to who she is. “You, uh, have a little something right…” Cole tells her and gestures with his finger to the visible drop of glistening saliva that’s traveled down a short distance from the corner of her mouth.

  Rather than blushing or being mortified, Destiny raises one eyebrow and runs her tongue along her bottom lip. She tries to make it look sexy or inviting, but she pretty much just looks like a little kid trying to get all the ice cream off her face after making a mess of eating it. Cole’s lips just barely quirk and I inwardly roll my eyes.

  “So what are you guys seeing?” he asks, moving to stand right next to Destiny in order to look at the flashing NOW PLAYING marquee with us, or to fluster her even more. You never know with Cole.

  “We haven’t decided yet,” I answer and frown at his profile for a quick moment, “Hey, Cole? You wanna come with me to pick Holden up from the airport tomorrow?”

  “What time?”

  “His flight lands at 6:43 in the morning. I know he’d really love to see you.”

  He looks over Destiny’s head at me and makes a clucking sound with his tongue. And with that, I know what the answer will be before he ever speaks. “I would, but I have to be at the golf course at the ass-crack of dawn…first foursome is set to go off at like 5:35 I think. Maybe you guys can swing by the club for breakfast or something though.”

  “Yeah, maybe…”

  “Oh, hey, what time is it?” he asks, grabbing Destiny’s wrist to look at her rhinestone bejeweled watch instead of his own barebones one, “Sweet! It’s quittin’ time! Or, you know, time for me to drive across town so I can clock in at Walmart. Enjoy your movie!”

  Destiny and I both wave and watch him take off towards an employee’s only door. She sighs when he takes his bow tie off and then his tuxedo shirt, leaving him in the tight-fitted tank undershirt. I roll my eyes and use my own hand to wipe the saliva from her chin this time before turning to stare up at the movie selections again.

  Two minutes don’t pass before Destiny is nudging me again and whispering in my ear. “Cole is staring at you…”

  “No, he’s not,” I tell her without even looking to see if he is or not, “He’s probably staring at you.”

  “Uh, no, he’s totally watching you.”

  I glance over to where he’s talking to another theater employee. He is actually looking at me. When I raise my eyebrows in question though, he grins and blows me a kiss. I can’t help it; I blow him one back and then laugh when he catches it and holds it to his heart with a big, overly dramatic sigh and look of joy on his face.

  “I know he’s supposedly Holden’s best friend and all, but I think he likes you,” Destiny tells me with raised brows, like she’s either intrigued or warning me—I’m not sure which.

  “He so doesn’t like me, Destiny. Not like that anyway. That’s just Cole. He’s one giant, ridiculous tease…always has been, always will be,” I say, shaking my head and smiling at Cole as he winks at me again on his way out of the theater. Then I mumble to myself, “Besides, I secretly think he’s gay.”

  Honestly, I’ve known him for like ever and I know a ton of girls in addition to my drooling friend here have crushes on him, and he has a certain reputation too; his habit of casually kissing girls on the cheek or head no doubt contributes to it. However, sometimes I wonder if those girls have made things up and convinced themselves of his exploits in the hopes that they’ll have a chance to be one of them, because I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him do anything with a girl outside of holding hands or taking part in a few public displays of affection in the form of some minor kissing at parties. So from my knowledge, that reputation of his is all based on rumors and hearsay.

  She starts cracking up. “Oh my God, Erica, you’re high! Cole Hastings is sooo not gay! He’s a total player! You know, I heard he hooked up with Becca Gibson not more than ten minutes after he dropped Hannah Dunlop off from their date after his shift here that same night, during which I also heard he got her to go down on him in the theater,” she rambles, “Ew…now I don’t know if I wanna see a movie here or not. That’s kinda gross, not knowing if we’re sitting in the same seats where some guy’s man milk was spit out, even if it was Cole’s.”

  My jaw drops. “Really, Destiny? My grandma comes to this theater!”

  She simply looks at me innocently and says, “Well, you should warn her then. I heard Becca swallows, but Hannah is a renowned spitter.”

  I throw my hands up in resignation and start shaking my head as I turn to leave.

  “What? I thought we were gonna see a movie!”

  Pushing through the doors to go back into the mall, I call over my shoulder, “Nope, I’m waiting for DVD from now on.”

  “Why?” she asks, catching up with me.

  I turn to stare at her. “Why?” She nods and gives me a confused, quizzical look. “Becau—” I start to explain when someone bumps into me from behind in their rush to get over to the center of the food court where five, big, flat screen TVs are hung in a circle from the ceiling.

  “What the hell is going on?” Destiny asks when we’re both pushed as more people rush by.

  I look around and finally realize there’s a flurry of excitement and people are all either jogging to get close enough to be able to hear the TVs, or stopped dead in their tracks looking at them. “No idea…zombie apocalypse?” I joke, “Might as well go see what the fuss is about,” I say and begin walking over to where everyone else seems to be gathering.

  “Okay, but just FYI, I’m totally tripping you if the hungry horde has finally descended upon humankind,” she laughs and skips ahead, disappearing into the growing crowd as I try to follow her and keep up.

  I’m pushed and shoved some more, but I finally manage to find Destiny in the melee under the TVs. She’s standing with Cole and I find myself shaking my head and rolling my eyes at her yet again when she looks up into his face and clutches one of his arms with both hands. She looks aghast and I determine right here and now that I need to sit her down and either teach her how to flirt and not look stupid doing it, or just beg her to give the whole thing up altogether. I don’t even notice that the arm she’s clinging to is bent so that Cole’s hand is covering his mouth. Not until they both turn and see me standing here do I realize that Cole has tears in his eyes and that Destiny is sobbing. Confused, I hesitantly raise my eyes to see the breaking news banner float across the bottom of one of the television screens, and just as I begin to feel my knees buckle and my vision start to swim, I see Holden’s face pictured and I hear part of the news report.

  The last thing I clearly remember before the earth fell out from under me was looking at Cole and seeing his eyes widen as he jumped towards me. Then, there was nothing.

  3

  “If I Die Young”

  —Cole—

  “It’s been eight days since a shadow was cast over the streets and storefronts of Sun City, a small suburb of Menifee located i
n Riverside County. A local boy attending the University of Oregon on a full athletic scholarship collapsed and died on a football field there early Saturday afternoon during a routine team training last week. Larry Michaels from our News 8 sister station is on location now…Larry? This is such a tragedy, can you tell those of us here anything about what happened?”

  “Yeah, Howard, it’s still unclear what exactly happened last Saturday at the Oregon Ducks’ 68 million dollar, state of the art football training center here in Eugene, and what caused the sudden collapse and death of twenty-year-old Holden St. James that took place on one of the three practice fields is still a mystery. Although drug use hadn’t been officially ruled out at the time, team physicians and coaches went on record later that evening to say that neither legal nor illegal drugs will be found to have contributed to their player’s collapse or death. Teammates and other students are baffled as well.

  “A likable and seemingly well known face on campus, St. James had just finished his freshman year and coming off a Ducks’ win in the Fiesta Bowl, he was in training with the rest of the program and looking forward to another winning season in his second year of playing football for the University of Oregon. He was thought to be in perfect health. Authorities released Holden’s body to his family after an autopsy was completed and although the results haven’t been released to the public at this time, it’s been rumored that highly caffeinated energy drinks may have played a part in the untimely and tragic death of St. James. A candlelight vigil and memorial for the public is scheduled here at Ducks Stadium tonight at eight o’clock with funeral services in Sun City to remain private, only family and close friends will be in attendance.”

  Private. Yeah, right.